Starting from scratch: Embracing a new creative journey

When one door closes, another one opens

Somehow, I’ve been procrastinating for weeks. Maybe it’s some sort of fear that it won’t happen after all? Or that it wasn’t meant for me to be accepted. Imposter syndrome, 100 percent.

When I worked as an educational/developmental psychologist, not too long ago, I also struggled for years with the feeling that I didn’t belong. Gosh, I really beat myself up about it; the fear of being exposed often reached a boiling point on Sundays.

And now, I’m about to do something I’ve never done before, something I still have to learn everything about, and I don’t even speak the language yet.

For me, this is a big turn in my life: I’ve been accepted into the Illustration and Visual Storytelling program at Venster Academy. Since last December, I’ve been preparing for the entrance committee, and last month they told me I can start in September.

It says ‘I have been accepted’ in Dutch

After that, I went through a bit of an identity crisis and needed some time to process this unexpected direction my life is taking.

The program's curriculum is amazing, and the alumni and current students are all so talented. I’m constantly impressed by the work they create. The fact that I’m now going to try this myself is something I never imagined or expected.

My wish to find a way to communicate through or supported by images, to tell a story in a different way, and to improve my writing, which I’ve enjoyed all my life, has become one (big) step closer.

My concerns are besides that I’m starting from scratch, I also wonder about my limitations and how I can work with them and make connections. I know I’ll only find out by just doing it. The big difference from my previous role as a therapist is that I won’t have responsibility for other people's lives, so in that sense, it’s much less stressful, and I don’t need to lie awake at night worrying. I won’t be answering crisis calls.

Venster has given me the task of focusing on drawing from life in the months leading up to the program. This means drawing people, people in scenes, and capturing the atmosphere of a place.

To build my skills from scratch, I’ve started attending the online on Zoom life drawing sessions at Draw Brighton every Wednesday. The fun part is that I’ve joined forces with a few other artists on Instagram, and we’ve created a small accountability group. Each week, some of us join, and this really helps me (and I hope the others too) to show up and do a session every Wednesday. I’m really enjoying this!

(Text continues below images)

Some quick drawings from a life drawing session @drawbrighton

A longer pose

By the way, if you think, hey that’s for me! Don’t hesitate to let me know en join us!

More about this next time!

With Love, Malu